sfina

"let's get along well!"
construct: the chemistry between people

name 𝄞⨾˚｡♫⋆♪₊♬ ﾟ.
type link
action https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLvL1MBuPtWr1Bh13X0tNRJZ8IhtEm4O8S
customColor #bfff00

(loser, static electricity, that friend, girls, castle in hollywood)

aliases & titles:
strychrine, striker, rin, rina, fifi, fina

birthday:
july 23 (leo)

personality

• the loudest and most cheerful of ERiS
• you can often find her trying to get them all to go out and have fun
• likes trying new things and new styles

likes:

• chemistry
• bartending
• her friends
• citrus fruits (+ desserts)
• buying clothes and wearing them
  • thrifting, window shopping, anything
• trying new things
• digicam/polaroids
• fun trinkety accessories

dislikes

• being embarrassed
• bad hair day (every day)
• some people
• having trouble when trying new things

status: alive

relations:
mother
father
grandmothers on both sides

goal

life

tab: background
- half-cyclops and half-human, she needed a lifesaving procedure at birth due to deformations in her skull around her eye area
	- her right eye is a prosthetic she can swap in and out.
	- her distinctive appearance made her stand out in school (make a wild wild guess as to what happens when one kid is a Lot different from the other kids at school!)
- **she hasn't had a close friend group** for longer than a few months or a year, at most. this is why she cherishes ERiS so much.
<br>
later on in school, had some friends, but wasn't really a "popular" kid - those were people she really looked up to and wanted to embody because they have a lot of friends AND they're also smart/good at academics (unlike her - only a few friends, none of which are particularly close, and mediocre at school)
  <br>
- in her late teens, she entered an extremely unhealthy relationship with someone at her university. 
	- **he gave her the affection she wanted, so she let a lot of his red flag behaviours slide.** 
	- they broke up, but while she does recognize he was a horrible person, she still struggles with **setting boundaries** and will let other people do whatever they want, though she feels a little nauseous when doing so. 
	- also because of this, although she's very extroverted, she still has trouble maintaining close relationships with people due to fear of being seen as too pushy, excessive, rude, etc.
  <br>
  - had body issues in past (e.g. eye, breakouts, height, feeling fat, etc.)
      - feels confident in body now
      - takes steps to maintain body healthily and is acutely aware of health
  <br>
- studied chemistry, got mid grades and couldn't find a job so got into bartending because it's cool
    - was studying bioluminescence and applications - has a lot of glow in the dark objects and likes bright things
<br>
- her family is quite well-off (class), with connections to influential people and organizations. she sometimes attends social events with them, but not often. 
	- her relationship with her family is alright, but not particularly close.

working as a bartender in a shady pub, she came in contact with a HALCYON unit and wanted to be there - that was when she breached the Dermis and started working in [[eris]]
tab: strengths
- witty
- intelligent - both books and emotional
- stylish
- confident (?)
- basically the glue of ERiS
- passionate about chemistry and her job, surprisingly!
	- **passionate about other interests as well!!! very much so**
- very tolerant of others' flaws
tab: flaws
- due to experiences in her past, wants desperately to be liked - extremely scared of being disliked 
  (image)
	- way too tolerant of others' flaws outwardly, will let negative feelings build up
	- will resent people a LOT in her heart but never say it out loud ever: *"i don't like you very much, but i want you to like me."*
	- extremely hard to be real with people about how they make her feel
	  (transparency)
- overthinks social interactions
- jack of all trades, master of none (skills)
	- **passionate, but not good at becoming skillful** (antithesis to [[arcael]])
	- gives up easily - acts nonchalant abt going from thing to thing but each failure does really impact her
- spiteful, passive aggressive
tab: character overview
two main themes: 
1. wanting to be liked, always hiding resentment and putting other people before herself (which causes more resentment) - dissolution of self
2. deeply unsatisfied with skills in all fields and unable to be good
overarching theme: never being *first* - someone's favourite person, the best at something, the first person in someone's mind/heart because right now she is kind of just a joe schmoe 

✦ really wants to be liked, enough to never say anything bad about anyone
✦ resents people a lot, will still not say anything + tries to not be secretly resented by other people
✦ sad lonely jealous - everybody likes everybody more than they like me
- will hide her feelings a lot to be more presentable, but also wants people to address her feelings so ends up pretty passive aggressive
✦ wants that coming of age sitcom life
✦ insecure abt mediocrity because she can't be the best at anything, or even just excellent - gives up extremely easy and never feels good enough
<br>
**mediocrity in all fields, being a social outsider/not close to anyone particularly, hiding negative emotions, not being special, not being first**
tab: extras
<u>flowers</u>: 
**zinnia** (thinking of you, sentimentality, loyalty, friendship), **chrysanthemum** (friendship, happiness, truth [white]), **pink camellia** (longing), **amaryllis** (strength, resilience, determination) 
<br>
<u>tarot</u>: 
**strength**
<br>
<u>fun facts:</u>
- wingmanning lucael as we speak
- doesn't actually drink depite bartending for years
    - tries to avoid it because she loses her filter and gets really mean (very rare, also pretty high tolerance)
- teaching syriense medicinal extracts (and learning along the way..!)
- eats anything but doesn't like bland and soggy
- watches mukbangs when she eats
- really likes window shopping and thrifting
- spends forever making her insta stories pretty and aesthetic
- has a lot of pinterest boards
- buys a lot of skincare and haircare stuff but it never seems to work. ever
- doesn't like being in the dark (literally and figuratively)
- chronically online
    - watches hella reels/shorts
- listens to asmr at night for fun
- cries in the shower
    - apparently good for skin.. that's why.. sure
- actually got pretty mid grades in chem in school
- would be pretty good at destroying peoples' confidence with well-placed insults if she tried (she wouldn't though)
- tries to sleep 1 am to 9 pm.. tries
tab: design symbols
scar - represents self-erasure/mutilation (to a lesser degree) in order to "fit in" or be liked because sfina changes herself to adapt to the people around her
eye and syringe represent attempts to integrate chemistry into daily life, to be more locked in on being the "scientist person"
- somewhat performative..? 😭

constructs:

• Delocalization and conjugation
  • hey..! it's nice to meet you. i've heard a lot about you! all good, of course, hahah.
• Spirit, sweet, bitter, water, and sometimes ice
  • you want a drink? no problem - yeah, i drink too sometimes, hahah. it's really no problem.
• What is your problem?
  • just who do you think you are?
• TLDR; Everyone ruins my life
• Bleeding heart, bleeding tongue
  • once, i cried so much i thought i could drown in all the tears rolling down my face. but the funny thing is, although i was staining my test papers and notebooks and turning them splotchy, no one seemed to notice. isn't that weird? i thought it was normal to comfort others when they were sad, but maybe i wasn't close enough to anyone for them to start that awkward phase of caring. i just wanted somebody to ask what was wrong.. but maybe they didn't see me after all.
  • everyone around me's feeling bad as of late, and i try to comfort them. but when.. will i have a turn? or does no one care? who am i to them?
• With a broken leg
  • "I study your moves, I copy your technique, but somehow you continue to blow me out of the water. Why?! How?! Maybe he's just better than you. Have you ever thought of that?"