thoughts on others

with subtheme of resentment
for specific inter-unit relationships check inter eris relationships + love

sfina

wants BADLY to be liked by everyone

• pretty good at communication, resolving disputes
• very middleman behaviour because she tends not to favour one side heavily due to fear of being disliked by other side (in the case that her friends are arguing)
• always doing favours for others, and though she CHOOSES to put others before herself, she resents them STILL

treads on eggshells around others, but outwardly she's pretty nonchalant and quick on her feet
sfina resents others when they annoy her, but will never vocalize it.

• because she does this a lot she's also scared that other people resent HER secretly - tries VERY HARD to be likeable

while holding back her negative emotions, will become passive aggressive and touchy because though she doesn't want people to be deterred by her, but also wants their comfort and recognition
there are times when she will really get fed up from containing it for so long and snap at people - extremely spiteful when doing so, will burn a lot of bridges on the way

sfina's always looking for new friends + friend groups - she makes friends quickly but is rarely very close to them (until ERiS)
lowk everyone in ERiS keeps some distance between themselves and other people except for sfina she's like the bridge between them

arcael

is a very magnetic person - he displays outwardly a very successful person who's happy with where he is. because of his kind and helpful personality, people gravitate to him.

• arcael resents others who have ambition and chase their dreams. he tries to downplay their achievements in his mind compared to his, which are pretty objectively good (though not the achievements he truly wants). he is aware that this is not good for him or his relationships, but he resorts to it automatically due to him deflecting from his self-loathing.
  • like a mix of jealousy/envy, resentment, and like,, disdain (envy and disdain what a combo)

thoughts on others:
because of the pressure to be a good son to his parents and follow a "traditional" life pipeline (which does NOT include things like being an author with no steady income), he bases his self-worth on things people would generally define as "successful," though in his heart, he knows it means absolutely nothing to him. this makes him internally pretentious asf but hes actually pretty insecure.
- bc if his life trajectory wasn't the Objectively Better path even though he hates it, then he's just a coward who can't pick for himself (his own words/thoughts) self-loathing

building relationships
finds that no one really understands/accepts his true self (nerdy asf etcetc he WOULD be accepted but he doesn't show it ever bc fear of rejection/humiliation + as stated before the pressures to conform to societal norms - YES nerds are cute but are they seen as conventionally successful popular kids.. yeah i thought not >:[[

• resulting in kind of isolated, superficial relationships bc no one really knows the private side of him and his perfect bits are just a facade to MAKE people like him and think hes cool
• fine being isolated he dont gaf he likes ERiS but he doesn't need them to know everything abt him it's PRIVATE!!!! (they WILL find out)

very able to dissect own emotions and analyze them critically instead of like,, FEELING them - intellectualization of emotions

• alert to changes in emotion in people around him, will always do the perfect thing to make them feel better (but a bit fakey?)
• very emotionally mature and stable on outside, hard to discern feelings

lucis

thoughts on others

• looks down on other people pretty explicitly because he's mega locked and other people are.. normal
• sometimes wishes he was more run-of-the-mill himself - comes off as super smug, though
  • he doesn't really mean it that way though he genuinely thinks this

building relationships
used to push people away (initial cold shoulder + rbf --> scary impression > feeds into chuuni personality also), but his need for human interaction inevitably makes him interact and make friends w people (extroverted struggle..)

• close to certain people (ERiS), still feels isolated from world, not because of fear of danger but mostly it would be extremely difficult for people to understand what he went through
• WANTS to have close relationships with people but they just don't get him/are not on his level of locked-inness/are scared of him
• also has VERY high standards for people and though he thinks he's giving constructive advice, can come off as mega pretentious
  • people sometimes disappoint him and he's like.. yeah whatever i'll just do things alone my way
• very loyal to people who match his standards (or his freak ,, i guess,,,,)
  • values loyalty HEAVY among his close circle; a betrayal would destroy him (hypothetically)

lucis is jealous/resentful of people with happier lives that aren't close to him

• kids?? they've never known struggle --> lucis hates kids + also they're mean asf lmfao
• difficult to find people to empathize with/people who can understand what he's gone through
• also resents people that don't try as hard as him bc they "had it easy" but he was punished for not being the best

syriense

building relationships
syriense keeps everyone at a distance - the only one he's close to is his sister (before ERiS)
even in ERiS, syriense keeps a bubble around him - keeps many things to himself
relationships based on

1. fear of harming others + fear of being disappointed/let down/left
   ^^ tldr mutual harm
2. doesn't think he's good enough to have friends
3. REALLY doesn't want people to know abt past bc he thinks he's highk evil and ominous
   wants friends, but too tired to maintain relationships + insane self-condemenation cutting him off from people who are good for him + never getting personal EVER ever EVER!!!! + secretive past --> perceived lack of emotional connection

also, foster system destroyed his trust in people

• felt like a lot of it was like half pity half self-righteous stuff as opposed to genuinely altruistic - would drop syriense and albrose if anything too difficult to handle came up
• but also doesn't feel worthy of receiving altruism either - just prefers not to interact with other people as much as possible unless beneficial for albrose
  • very curt, transactional relationships
  • if he keeps relationships at arm level, no one will be hurt by each other !! <-- his thoughts (wrong!!)
    • relationships are so harddduuuhhhh its better to not do them at all

syriense doesn't actually really resent anyone. he may get annoyed often, but deep-rooted resentment is just not his thing bc he is so tired. actually, the person he resents the most is probably just himself

albrose

thoughts on others
albrose doesn't really care about most other people outside of ERiS. they didn't help her or her brother when he needed it; why should she help them?

• if they don't benefit her/her circle, she doesn't really care about them or their well-being, but if they help her, she'll help them back - inherited syriense's transactional view on relationships
  • different for people who are obviously worse off, though - she helps them
    similar to schizoid personality disorder..? in that she really couldn't care less about how other people see her (socially)/social cues, etc.
• but still able to feel intense emotions, etc.
• difficult for her to express emotions to other people, making her appear indifferent
  • whereas syriense actively tries to stifle emotions (and fails), albrose really doesn't know how to do anything else - both come off as very cold
• can't empathize well with others despite wanting to help them, ZERO emotional intelligence

really likes being morally upstanding despite not understanding moral greyness at all

• despite not really caring about how people view her in like a social interaction type of way, still has a certain way she'd like people to see her
  • rooted in saviour complex - really really wants people to think she's helpful and super cool
  • only helps close ones and people she perceives as worse off (in the scale of society)
    • very into vigilantism - why she also really REALLY likes being in ERiS

loved ones
for the people she likes, feels big sense of obligation, responsibility

• her power is extremely useful, so she wants to be able to help her loved ones with it - use it responsibly and wisely
• really wants to be needed - have people rely on her (saviour complex again!)
  • if she's not useful, she's not really anything (her perception)
• very scared of letting people down and not being good enough for them

wanting to "save" people derived from wanting to help and "save" syriense due to her seeing his struggle

*albrose resents a lot of society as a whole for perceived mistreatment of her and syriense when they were younger, thinks society and most people are actually just Bad People due to ongoing discrimination and class differences *